Splitting Goatee Hairs

A number of readers have tweeted, emailed, and commented to inform me that I am confusing the Van Dyke beard with the goatee in this week’s cartoon. I call this goatee strict constructionism — sort of the Clarence Thomas view of facial hair (setting aside the fact that Clarence Thomas is actually a judicial activist). I believe in a broader interpretation, a living goatee, if you will. Or, to quote from previous-post commenter Mike Peterson:

So it turns out that absolutely nobody is wearing goatees these days after all.

The only other possible explanation is that language isn’t frozen in amber but grows and changes with time, and we know that can’t be the case.

I would also point readers to this Cincinnati Enquirer article on the history of goatees, which places the Van Dyke firmly in the chronology of goatee evolution (or devolution, as the case may be).

I mean, when’s the last time someone famous (Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart, Brad Pitt) sprouted one of these and everyone called it a Van Dyke? No, we use the word “goatee.” Oh, and Olbermann shaved his sprouting goatee just a day after this cartoon appeared on Daily Kos. COINCIDENCE???


  • Roger Bloyce

    The way the try to hide a fat head with a pointy chin, it gets my goat and tees me off.

  • http://www.comicstripoftheday.com Mike Peterson

    Obviously, these people don’t know what they’re talking about.


  • John M.

    People who are proud of themselves for “knowing” it is called a Van Dyke are the same type of people who are proud of themselves for “knowing” that tomatoes are fruits. Or “knowing” that winter begins on the solstice. Or “knowing” any other factoid that allows them to correct other people’s perfectly accurate every usages. You know: assholes.

  • John M.

    “everyday” usages.

  • Jam

    I think the adequate response to anyone splitting hairs over goatee vs… whatever could have simply been: “who gives a shit?”

    You can call a nuclear missile a plastic barbie tit; everyone is still going to understand what the thing with the rocket booster on the back actually is.

  • http://mooretoons.com Kevin Moore

    I would rather be hit with barbie tits.

    I had to shave my goatee/beard/whatever a few years ago due to a shaving misstep. It warn’t purty.

  • http://eatthebabies.com/ BradyDale

    I thought your drawings were all solidly goatee-genre. The differences are not important differences. LOVED the comic. Nice break from overtly political with still a good edge of social commentary.

    Thumbs up!

Jen Sorensen is a nationally-published political cartoonist. She is a 2017 Pulitzer Finalist and recipient of the 2014 Herblock Prize and a 2013 Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award.