The Sorensen Monologues
This Week’s Cartoon: “Deficit Memories”
I realize I say this a lot, but I’m more frightened by the state of the nation than ever before. American politics have always been brutish and ugly, but the bottom has completely fallen out. Republican extremists are running the country like a James Bond villain threatening nuclear war if he doesn’t get his ransom, but there’s no 007 to save the day. Obama throws up his hands. Beltway pundits blame “Washington.” The hypocritcal lack of concern about deficits under Bush goes unmentioned.
This is not politics-as-usual. As Joe Nocera described it in the NYT: “Our enemies could not have designed a better plan to weaken the American economy than this debt-ceiling deal.” And now they’re onto the FAA. I don’t see how this situation gets any better.
This Week’s Cartoon: “The Latest Debt Ceiling Demands”
Ugh, what more can I say. This whole thing reminds me more and more of Naomi Klein’s Shock Doctrine every day. Manufacture a crisis, use the ensuing sense of panic to impose draconian cuts to programs people desperately need, and voila! Utopia at last. Never mind that Reagan raised the debt ceiling 18 times, and Dubya 7, or that Clinton balanced the budget, or that the vast bulk of our current deficit was formed under Bush. The hypocrisy is simply astounding.
The m&m’s in the first panel are, of course, a reference to Van Halen’s infamous contract rider stipulating that the brown ones be removed. David Lee Roth has explained that the point was not to be a prima donna, but to test to see if stage crews had read the contract carefully. I love this quote:
I came backstage. I found some brown M&M’s, I went into full Shakespearean ‘What is this before me?”… you know, with the skull in one hand… and promptly trashed the dressing room. Dumped the buffet, kicked a hole in the door, twelve thousand dollars’ worth of fun.”
I decided to make the m&m’s that Republicans object to the green ones, since, you know, they hate anything green.
This Week’s Cartoon: “Bulb Wars”
The silliness and hypocrisy of Republicans’ lightbulb activism — especially their sudden concern about mercury in compact fluorescents after pooh-poohing efforts to limit mercury pollution for decades — was too much for me to resist. I should add here that it’s not just CFLs that they’re opposed to; low-energy incandescent bulbs are also available, and the energy law (passed under Bush) is intended to create a market for these by eliminating the cheaper, less-efficient competition.
While CFLs theoretically reduce mercury pollution by reducing the amount of coal power consumed, I have to admit I’m wary of the expectation that they’ll be OK for the environment as long as people recycle them instead of dumping them in the garbage. “Just take them to Lowe’s!” chirped a woman from the NRDC on a Colbert clip I watched recently. But honestly, how many Americans are going make the effort to do that? See the second panel of this cartoon for a clue. I suspect in 20 years we will have a “WTF were we thinking?” moment.
While Googling images of the tea party, I came across this photo of Sarah Palin supporters from the Christian Science Monitor.
Yes, these are the people fighting modern lightbulb technology and threatening to annihilate what’s left of the economy over the debt ceiling.
This week’s cartoon: “Post-Debt Ceiling Ultimatums”
In the midst of all the hand-wringing over deficits, it seems no one is bringing up the simple fact that the deficit will disappear if Congress does NOTHING. The entire debate is a crock of simmering crap, a thinly-veiled excuse for Republicans who don’t give a damn about deficits to gut social programs. It’s straight out of the GOP playbook. Run up massive deficits to starve the beast (see: Reagan, Bush Jr.), then squawk bloody murder when a Democrat is in charge, pinning the blame on them and forcing the Dem to clean up the mess (see: Clinton, Obama, Mark Warner as governor of Virginia). And no matter how irresponsible the Republicans are, or how cautious Dems are budget-wise, the grand narrative never changes. Dems are always characterized as big spenders, Repubs as pillars of fiscal probity. And when Dems point to loopholes like the private jet tax break, the Republicans’ talking point is: “That’s small potatoes. It would hardly make a dent in the deficit.” Well, if it’s no big deal, then why threaten to blow up the whole economy over it? And if minor expenses don’t matter, why threaten to defund NPR over piddling chump change? These people are unserious frauds concerned only with dismantling the New Deal, and the media should treat them as such. Anyone — and any cartoonist — who takes these self-proclaimed “deficit hawks” at face value (especially that smug, dead-eyed, know-nothing doucheswizzle Paul Ryan) is doing a gross disservice to the public and to democracy itself.
This Week’s Cartoon: “The Mental Stimulus Plan”
A few Obama supporters on Daily Kos took umbrage at this one. Personally, I think it’s a pretty mild warning about the dangers of not having a jobs plan. So what if it’s not politically feasible right now? He could at least try to make the case, instead of gratuitously invoking Republican falsehoods about the economy (see Krugman’s posts on this tendency here and here). It’s time to play offense at least rhetorically, Republican obstructionism be damned.
This Week’s Cartoon: “Welcome to Ball-Mart”
I’m sensing a distinct lack of outrage over the Wal-Mart sex discrimination ruling, probably because it’s more complicated an issue than a politician tweeting boner pics. In a nutshell (er, no pun intended), the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 against female employees being able to file a class-action lawsuit, with all three female justices dissenting. Scalia, refusing to see any correlation in the vast statistical and anecdotal evidence, said the myriad women who faced discrimination must confront the retail Goliath individually. Never mind that the top brass at Wal-Mart turned a blind eye to everything. The discriminatory managers were just a few thousand bad apples! Oh, and as Ruben Bolling points out in this week’s “Tom the Dancing Bug” Scalia’s son is on the Wal-Mart legal team.
I recommend this post by Adam Serwer on The American Prospect for more on the ruling. Key grafs:
Not only do you have to prove the “old boy network exists,” but now you have to do it under a higher standard of proof than ever before. Where discrimination operates as unconscious or unacknowledged bias, rather than as a deliberate, concerted effort to bar one particular group of people from advancing, even where the systemic impact is clear, the conservative justices see no evil.
Scalia’s opinion reflects the deeply flawed view that intent is required for discrimination, and that nominally being opposed to discrimination is by itself an effective bulwark against discrimination occuring. As Ginsburg wrote in her partial dissent, “Managers, like all humankind, may be prey to biases of which they are unaware.”
Or, as this USA Today editorial points out:
Many legal experts say Monday’s decision will make it difficult to bring cases unless there is an overt policy of discrimination. That seldom happens. Companies don’t write out discriminatory policies for the world to see.
What good is outlawing sex discrimination de jure if it cannot be applied de facto? But hey, we saved the world from Anthony Weiner’s pixelated wang.
This Week’s Cartoon: “Asterisky Business”
I have something of a ladycrush on Elizabeth Warren. I feel like she’s exactly who I’d be (or would want to be) if I’d grown up to become a Harvard law professor instead of a cartoonist.
Of course, Republicans can’t stand the thought of having someone ethical and intelligent trying to help consumers understand their credit card bills and mortgages. God forbid Americans actually be informed about how they’re being screwed. (I feel like I’ve said that before; I probably have.) I highly recommend the documentary Maxed Out, which features Warren, if you want to learn more about the grotesque predatory lending practices that the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is intended to curb.
The “projectile incontinence” bit was inspired by a segment in Infinite Jest I recently read about a junkie going through heroin withdrawal. I think the projectile part was mine, but I’m not sure, so I’m going to give David Foster Wallace some credit here.
This Week’s Cartoon: “All Food Recalled”
If this one looks a little familiar, that’s because I drew it during the Great Peanut Butter Scare of ’09. I didn’t need to change a thing in order to use it again.
I’m not recycling it out of laziness, though. I’m having knee surgery on Friday, and trips to the doctor and other knee-related activities have hampered cartoon production. I’ve been avoiding talking about it online because, frankly, I’m tired of thinking about knees (which were designed by a complete idiot, by the way). But I suppose you faithful SlowpokeBlog readers deserve to know.
From the original “All Food Recalled” blog post:
For the second panel, I was trying to think of the grossest things one could possibly find in a food processing factory. What sprang to mind was the time I was in a grocery store in Pennsylvania, and I thought to look at the ingredients on a tin of scrapple. And there I saw it: the word “SNOUTS.” Snouts, I tell you! That’s where they wind up! As you can see, that moment left an indelible impression on me. Seeing as fresh snouts are apparently perfectly edible, I made the snouts in my cartoon rotten and slick with Astroglide, as though employees had been engaging in some very strange kink right next to the conveyor belt.
This Week’s Cartoon: “Drooly Julie in ‘Hard Science'”
OK, so I couldn’t resist the Weiner story. But at least I tried to address the larger issue of the media’s obsession with sex scandals, as opposed to drawing something that basically said “Haw haw! Politician can’t keep it in his pants!” Unlike the lawmakers who supported the Iraq War, Weiner never cost anyone his or her life. Nor was he hypocritical like so many “family values” politicians who try to micromanage other people’s sex lives (as Dan Savage put it) while taking liberties with his own. Plus, the boniferous crotch shot had a certain je ne sais quoi.
Seriously, though, it’s a huge problem for our democracy that the important issues — especially ones involving money — tend to be too dry and complex for mass appeal. Because that’s really where the action is. Not in Weiner’s underpants!
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This Week’s Cartoon: “GOProducts”
I wrote this one on my flight to Boston for the Reubens Weekend. I’d just read a NYT article about tennis star Maria Sharapova launching a line of tennis ball-shaped candy called “Sugarpova” which sort of cracked me up. And then a strange paranormal phenomenon occurred: the closer I got to Boston, the more I became possessed with the kitschy spirit of “Big Fat Whale” cartoonist Brian McFadden, at whose apartment I would be spending the night. The cartoon was actually drawn in Brian’s Big Fat Office, and Photoshopped on his Big Fat Computer using one of his Big Fat Fonts. Moreover, Brian suggested the title and provided key editorial advice for the last panel, which was going to show a jar of jellybeans with the black licorice ones removed as opposed to the funnier “separate but equal” jar of beans. So, Brian, Mr. Perkins tips his hat to you. I apologize for only adding the “Thanks, Brian” to the strip belatedly, as it’s well-deserved.
My First Reubens Weekend
I recently joined the National Cartoonists Society and went to my first Reubens Award weekend, the annual gathering of professional doodlers from North America and points beyond. This year the event was in Boston at the Fairmont Copley Plaza, a hotel so fancy it makes the Vatican look like a Dollar Tree. That’s me above with my friend Isabella Bannerman, one of the “Six Chix.” Note the great expression on the gentleman behind us.
I don’t even know where to begin recounting the weekend — I had so many fun conversations with friends old and new — but I can tell you that every now and then, something truly surreal would happen, such as finding Cathy Guisewite behind me in line in the ladies’ room. (This now rivals my other Ladies’ Room Brush With Fame with Dennis Kucinich’s wife, who towered above her stall like a very beautiful giraffe.) I got to briefly meet Sergio Aragones and Garry Trudeau. One evening, I found myself eating dinner with the entire Marmaduke clan. I was heartened to hear that one of the Sons of Marmaduke reads my strip regularly in the Village Voice. On the other hand, I fear I committed a grave faux pas by referring to the matriarch of the Marmaduke Dynasty as Mrs. Marmaduke. She seemed perplexed, so I hastily explained that I often referred to my husband as Mr. Slowpoke. (I would say “Ruh-Roh!” here, but that’s Scooby Doo. Speaking of which, I wonder if there’s a blood feud between the House of Marmaduke and the House of Scooby.) Anyway, good times!
This Week’s Cartoon: “Tax Evasion Funnies”
I don’t have as much time to write about this under-the-radar issue as I’d like, but you can bone up over at the Wonk Room. For further reading, there’s also this WaPo article and Sunlight Foundation piece.
To its credit, the Obama administration opposes the tax holiday, which was tried under the Bush administration with unimpressive job-creation results (let’s just say it ain’t the WPA). And it is a holiday, with rates dropping from 35% to around 5%. Would that we self-employed mortals had lobbyists fighting for such a sweet deal. TAX HOLIDAY FOR CARTOONISTS: BRING THE MONEY BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!
